Shell over at Things I Can’t Say has penned Wednesdays as pour your heart out Wednesdays. Click the link above to learn more and read other posts! Today what I have to say has also been sparked by Shell! For Monday’s post, on her blog, she shared a journal entry from when she graduated from college in 1999. It was entitled, “If I had college to do all over again”. At the end of the journal entry where these words: “…Instead of the events shaping my attitude, I wish that my attitude could have shaped the events”. Wow!!!
I can sit back and name a zillion times where my attitude went completely south for the winter and I lost it over something! I tend to oscillate between: completely Tasmanian devil (angry/frustrated/yelling), Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs (mind racing/ jumping to illogical conclusions/panicked) and Eeyore (despondent/hopeless/gloomy/totally depressed). Lucky for my family, I am not like this all the time, but just like Shell, I so wish my attitude could shape events instead of the other way around.
Monday afternoon, my daughter handed me a letter from school that explained that she is finishing the year out below grade level in math despite our many efforts. Including but not limited to: conferences with her teacher, taking her to tutoring twice a week, and working with her at home. After reading the letter, I felt like a piece of ice under a heat lamp. I melted. My whole demeanor changed. I was irritable and angry: snapping and everybody and everything. I took the letter personally! My behavior shamed my daughter and she ended up in tears and feeling like a failure. Then I felt like a failure too. It was a very vicious cycle
In researching different ways to change my attitude, I found a not so new concept called PAY ATTENTION! I know, total rocket science. But seriously, it is my responsibility to pay attention to how I am feeling BEFORE I react!!! I can’t expect things not to happen—well I can but that is NOT realistic. I can however, get myself together before I go postal! My attitude has consequences for me AND those around me, especially my children.
Many people in 12 step programs use the Serenity Prayer and I have decided that it definitely works for checking my attitude before I react to things:
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
I think it is wonderful that you are so open and honest about your attitudes. I have been where you are and I can totally understand. I don't think you can go wrong with the Serenity Prayer. Good luck and I know you can overcome the negative attitudes
By the way I am your newest follower! I thought I had already become one but nope I am on it now though!
It's so cool that you're working to change your attitude when it's negative. I'm sure it's a very difficult thing to do, but so rewarding. I tend to write when I'm trying to readjust my mood or my take on a situation–I find that (literally) spelling things out helps calm me down and give me a better perspective.
I can totally relate to the mixture of Tasmanian devil, Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs and Eeyore! Since I've been on this 90-Day journey with my friends (with the book entitled “Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be), I've noticed that I actually stop, breathe, say a quick prayer or even listen for God before I react to situations now. And my girls and I are only on day 16! It truly is amazing how different situations become when you react to them in a different tone that you or those who know you, are use to the reaction being.
Keep it up! And your daughter will be just fine. Continue working with her and putting it in God's hands.
I can really relate to this post! So often I let things put me in a bad mood and then I take it out on the people around me. If I would just change my attitude about it, I'm sure it would cause me a lot less stress!!
I love this. I really need to do this- something so simple that I could do to help.
Thanks so much for linking up! All of your posts are always so thoughtful and heartfelt.
This is so hard. I struggle so much with my “intial” reactions to things, and then letting those things grab hold and ruin more time than they should. Thanks for a great post, and a great way to handle it
I agree so much with this post … I struggle with the same thing. I just spot off my emotions without thinking about them first and then end up hurting people when I didn't want to.
Thanks for posting this. I like the prayer and verse at the end of the post alot.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Okay … that comment was an exercise in typos! What I meant to say was …
I'm a reactor too and the times when I go nuclear are bad for everybody! Thank you for this excellent bit of encouragement!