Victim-Ignore-Payback–Pour your heart out

The mornings at my house have become like main event fight nights. For some reason or another, my girls are always arguing about something. I think they must be natural born physicists because they have innately learned Newton’s Third Law (to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction). Only they have twisted it to mean: you do something to me, I will do something worse to you! After it is obvious that they cannot work it out themselves, I make them apologize to the other sister and say what they are sorry for. Then, I usually stand on my high horse and explain to them how you don’t always have to react to something someone does to you and that over-dramatizing your side is soooo NOT necessary. (As if I have the whole thing figured out).

Sunday night, our youth group sermon was on forgiveness. I stood on my high horse yet again because I am a forgiving person (or so I thought). Yet as I listened more, our Student Pastor said something that smacked me right off that prideful high horse I had been sitting on. He said that often we “think” about forgiving then because of our hurt feelings” move” into V.I.P. mode. V-victim—{telling other people what another person did, over dramatizing our side of things, building a case against the other person}. I—Ignore. “Oh no she did’nt”? Which leads to — “She did that so I am NOT going to even speak to her”! Or may even lead to: P—Payback (my girls’ personal favorite).

I am not much of a “payback” person but I am a true Drama Queen and I can play the victim really well. (Yeah the girls get their Drama from me!) After thinking about how I process things when my feelings are hurt, I realized that I go straight to victim or I put the “ig” on my offender! Even when someone offers an apology, I may still put the “ig” on ‘em while I get over it. I think I rationalize the whole victim or ignore thing because I usually don’t harbor hard feelings long after having my “Drama Queen moment”. That being said, if I am hurt enough to want to play the victim or ignore, I should discuss the issue with my offender (if discussion is possible)!

Sometimes it is hard to admit that my feelings have been hurt. A lot of times I tell myself that I am overreacting yet I still go into victim or ignore mode. Who wants to be known as the super-sensitive emotional lady? My offender may not even care or worse, he or she may get mad! Still, I have been called to have the hard conversation (just between us) and forgive them anyway!

Do you go into V.I.P. mode when your feelings have been hurt?

Matthew 18:15
“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend…”

Pour Your Heart Out is a weekly Meme hosted by Shell over at Things I can’t say! Click on the photo below to read what is in the hearts of others!!