Pour Your Heart Out-Comparison Queen

Last Thursday, I took both of my daughters to get their hair done because we were supposed to take pictures at the dog grooming shop with our little dog. Notice that I said, “supposed”. That is because I totally forgot about taking the picture on Monday! Let’s just say it was NOT a great start to the week but that is a different story for a different day. Back to the hair… Sometimes, I let my oldest daughter get a “blowout” at the salon. She wears twists and braids all summer. The blowout is easy for me to manage and gives her a change. Well, my youngest begged to get her hair straightened like her big sis all summer. As most kinky curly heads know, humidity is just evil! So, straightening over the summer was a big NO-NO! So we did it on last Thursday.

All went well until my oldest realized that her sister’s hair is quite a bit longer than hers. Since my youngest always wears her hair naturally curly, it appeared much shorter. My oldest daughter had a complete meltdown in the salon. Big crocodile tears, puffy red eyes and folded arms. “How can her hair be longer than mine and I have been on this earth longer than her? It’s NOT FAIR!” She exclaimed. I tried to console her, but as she caused more of a scene I became irritated.

So I stepped onto “all knowing parent mode” and said the following:

“Why are you jealous of your sister? Hair isn’t everything! You are still beautiful and your hair is long too! My dad used to always tell me, “If you can run fast, there will always be somebody who can run faster”. No matter how angry you get and how much you cry, you can’t change the fact that your sister’s hair is longer than yours. You have your hair and she has hers. God makes us all different but loves us the same.”

My words fell on deaf ears for about an hour and a half, and then she got over it. Earlier today, I had my own encounter with the green eyed Jeanie. As I mentioned earlier, this week got started with a bang. I had “work” to do at work that I really did not want to do. My nose started running, so I took Benadryl and woke up hung over. I have been screaming and rushing around to get out of the door in the mornings and I had to start planning for a Zumba® event that I am helping with this weekend.

During the planning, I began to feel a pang of frustration. One of the other instructors helping with the event has her own fitness company. As I tried to complete the work I did not want to do at my regular job, my mind started to turn cart wheels. “Must be nice to do what you love ALL the time AND make tons of money”. “Why can’t I do what I love AND make money?” Then I really took a dive into the sea of green. I began to reflect on closing my party business and the dealing with the debt from doing what I was passionate about. Then, just looking at her email address made me very depressed. What about all that stuff I told my daughter?

Yeah, what about that? Well, I didn’t want to hear that and it took me way longer than an hour and a half to get over it. Maybe a tantrum in my office with big crocodile tears instead of brooding all day may have been just what the doctor ordered! A quick X-Ray of what my goals with being a Zumba® instructor really are would have revealed that I am actually meeting the goals I set! Final diagnosis: no bones are broken, just bruised from comparing myself to someone else!

I participated in the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse challenge last month. In that program, the recommended treatment for comparison is Inspiration, Appreciation and Gratitude. Be inspired by others successes to be the best that I can be. Appreciate what is going well by saying something nice (about myself and/or the other person). Have an attitude of gratitude. Count my blessings, I really have so many! It actually feels good to dethrone the Comparison Queen!

Galatians 6:4
Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.

Do you need to dethrone your comparison queen?

Disclosure:(I did NOT receive any compensation for linking to the "Inner Mean Girl Cleanse" program.)