Recently, I have noticed that I have a problem saying “no”. My mouth will answer “yes” to things that I really do not want to do. The reason for this…I hate to let other people down. I want to be every thing to every body.
My husband calls me “Helpful Hannah”! The only problem with ol’ Helpful is that she gets me over-comitted and overwhelmed!
Is it wrong to want to be helpful? Of course not! However, I can’t tell you how many times I said yes and then squeezed that one more thing in that totally blew my schedule!
Yes then ol’ Helpful turns into Hateful cause I am rushed.
Why then if I know all of this, would I continue to say YES? Because I struggle with being a people pleaser. That’s not so bad right??? Wrong. People Pleasing is really PRIDE in disguise.
People Pleasing is pride because it seeks the approval of people over the approval of God.
Lou Priolo has written a wonderful book called “Pleasing People”, it is definitely on my “to read list”. In his book, he gives some characteristics of people pleasers here are just a few (my personal favs):
• She fears the displeasure of man(humans) more than the displeasure of God.
• Her speech is designed to entice and flatter others into thinking well of her.
• She is a respecter of persons.
• She is oversensitive to correction, reproof, and other allusions of dissatisfaction or disapproval on the part of others.
• She is discontented with the condition and proportion that God has appointed for her. (OUCH)
In Galatians chapter one, Paul addressed the churches of Galatia. The congregations had begun to wavier in their faith.
In Galatians 1:10 Paul said the following: Obviously, I am not trying to be a people pleaser! No, I am trying to please God. If I were still tyring to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.
People pleasing is one of those little things that when left unchecked turn into HUGE problems with even HUGER (is that a word?) consequences. It is something that I am personally working on so that I can help my daughters and the girls that I work with a church.
I don’t know about ya’ll but I did a l ot of not-so-smart things as a teen to win the approval of friends and boyfriends. Even as a married adult woman, having the approval of others is important.
How amazing would it be to become women who seek the approval of God above every thing else?
Hmmm, lets dig deeper on saying “NO”!
This post is part of a weekly Meme hosted by Shell over at Things I can’t Say! Click the link below to read other folks’ hearts.
I, too, am a “recovering people-pleaser”. I can definitely relate to much of what you shared here. You have definitely given me some things to think about.
Thank you for sharing!
Dropping by with PYHO, by the way.
I've had to work on saying no, too. B/c eventually, I'll take on so much that I'll be overwhelmed and completely shut down.
This post hits home for me! I am so working on this and though I haven't read the book you mention (I've heard it's great though) I have one called “When People Are big and God is Small” about the same topics and it is amazing! So many things I never would have realized before. Thanks for this insightful post and best of luck to you on your journey!!:)
oh man, this post just gets me! i'm a people-pleaser and have been working on saying no. Great to see a post about it this week, since it's been on my mind heavy lately.
I'm visiting from PYHO and would love if you could check out my post
How do I stop being so scared of people disaproving of me or being angry with me. I will do anything to keep people happy. Yes pf course God is big and people small. But people are the ones I see and hear. I know it is my fault, but I cant seem to do anything about it. I actualy get a racing heartbeat and feel mega fearful if I feel that I am not being approved of. I am everything to everyone.