Well, well, well, it is Monday AGAIN and the weekend went as fast a as $20 bill! Our calendar was packed full Friday, Saturday and Sunday! It ended with our small town’s Christmas Parade on Sunday afternoon. My Zumba® class participants and I were walking/dancing in the parade!
I had anxiety all week about everything going as planned: the logistics of parking cars and carpooling to the drop off spot, making sure our music was hooked up, etc.). After a couple of minor issues, it looked like everything was going to be ok.
However, looks were deceiving because the music did not work as planned. The music kept stopping and finally, it just cut off. So, we just ended up clapping, smiling and yelling “Merry Christmas” to everyone. I was mortified! I felt stupid just clapping and shaking with no music. I had this whole thing planned out and choreographed just so! Uggh!
When the parade was finally over, to say I was disappointed is a HUGE understatement. I know it seems minor, but I was REALLY sad that things didn’t go as planned.
My husband kept saying, “Well, it is over”, in an effort to help. My daughters kept saying, “Mom, it’s not your fault”, also in an effort to help. Both of their statements were true and were kinda nice “get over it” statements. In case you didn’t know, sometimes it is HARD to just “get over” things.
In the grand scheme of things, not having music for the parade was a small thing. However, disappointments in general, are part of life. Yesterday helped me practice three coping skills; none of them were “just get over it”.
1. Just be disappointed
In today’s world, we want everything to go by quickly, especially things that are not pleasurable. Millions of dollars are spent on self-help materials and drugs to keep from feeling disappointed. So, for a few hours after the parade I just felt disappointed. I didn’t try to hide my feelings. I just felt sad.
2. Get the 411.
After just feeling sad, I started to do some investigative work.
Was there any more that I could have done? Well, once the music stopped working, not really.
What could I have done differently? Well, I did not have a “Plan B” for the music. I also did not have someone on the team who knows about vehicles and what you need to do with a converter on the battery.
Where there any successes? Yes, when the music WAS playing, people LOVED us! Also, when we were practicing, a bus from a local nursing home was sitting behind us. When the residents heard the music, they wanted to get off and watch us. It was so sweet, one little lady could barely move, but she just smiled watching us dance, it was precious!
3. Move on by focusing on the lessons learned without blame.
I found an awesome article on dealing with expectations. The author stated: “You instantly take your power back the moment you decide to take the knowledge you’ve learned along the way and continue on towards what you do want to achieve.” Hmmmm.
It was also interesting that the author spent time dealing with blame, especially blaming yourself and feeling like a failure:
“When things don’t go as expected, it’s not a reflection on you at all. The result just wasn’t what you expected. The key thing to remember is that it doesn’t change who you are. You are not your goal. Whether you achieve it or not, does not change who are at your core. You have the same beliefs and values. You also have the same dreams. A goal is something you work towards. It does not define you.”
Divas, I am learning that if our joy depends on how things are going (on our circumstances); we are in trouble, because circumstances are always changing. Forrest Gump had it right, “life is really like a box of chocolates, you NEVER know what you are going to get”.
So, I am thankful for the sweet look on those elderly ladies faces when we were dancing. I am thankful for the awesome women who have come into my life via the exercise class that I lead. I am thankful for great friends who went out of their way to help the day be a success. I am thankful for the ability to dance.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
Hello My beautiful Katina
yes we did have some issues BUT at the end we all have our smiles on our face ALL because we see your smile and hey if the life give you lemons….we will be there for each other plum we were AWESOME:)
LUISA
Thanks for sharing your insight. I agree that it is okay to be disappointed, and then learn from that experience, and then move forward. And, we were AWESOME! Just the fact that we would dare to march out there (with or without music) and shake it! So many people said that there was no way they would do that. We love you and what you've done for us.
KDB