I have a hard time saying NO. When people ask me to do things, I will often jump at the chance to meet their need without considering my time and effort requirement.
Jumping to meet other people’s needs and requests can be a good thing WHEN balanced with my schedule and obligations. Unfortunately, my difficulty with saying no usually means that I say YES ALOT.
My mother tells me that I am Miss Nice Girl. I don’t know about all of that, but I know that I don’t like to disappoint people. Yes, as I have admitted before, I am a people pleaser–on the road to recovery.
During a leadership training at work last week, the speaker talked about how to say NO without actually saying “NO”. As I sat there so tired and fidgety from how crazy my schedule has been recently, I was immediately intrigued.
I get asked to host Zumbathons® for various organizations quite often. A Zumbathon® is a fund raising event where several instructors come together and teach a 2 hour class/event and the proceeds are donated to a charity.
Now of course Zumbathons® are wonderful things and I LOVE to help the community. I am humbled to be asked to participate in events by all of the great organizations out there with great causes. However, Zumbathons® are usually in addition to regular class times and they require quite a bit of orchestrating and advertising.
This weekend, I will be hosting one of the six Zumbathons® that I have on my schedule before mid May and the requests just keep coming. I have to BALANCE!
Balance means that sometimes I am going to have to deny a request.
When the speaker said she had a way to say NO with out saying the word, I blurted out: “Please tell me how to say the one word I NEED to say more but just don’t quite seeem to say as often as I should”.
The speaker said that instead of saying no and OVER-explaining why we cannot do something, we should use the USA method of denying a request:
U-Understand the Statement
S-Situation Statement
A-Action Statement
So how does this look in action? Glad you asked!
Question: Would you host an event for our group?
U-I understand that your organization has great need and having a dance fitness type of event would be a fun and effective way to raise funds.
S-Unfortunately, my schedule is already booked for this fundraising season.
A-Perhaps we can speak in the Fall of this year when I begin to plan my Winter-Spring calendar for next year?
Want another one?
Question: Would you serve on the PTA executive board?
U-Wow, thanks for thinking of me! The PTA provides a lot of support for the students and staff.
S-Unfortunately, I am already committed to several other community and church events.
A-Although I am unable to serve in the executive board role, I may be able to help with the Spring Fling Event.
Divas, I am on a roll now! Move ova Miley Cyrus…. I’m having a party in the USA!
Luke 14:28(NLT)
“But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?
Do you have a hard time saying no?
This post is part of a weekly meme hosted by Shell at Things I can’t say!
I need to remember this post when I want to say NO in the future. I always feel guilty and like I am letting people down but you are right, sometimes you have to say NO.
I'll have to remember this! I tend to have a million things going on at once, and know that I am spreading myself entirely too thin. Sometimes it is okay for me to say no, and not have anything bad happen!
What an awesome strategy for maintaining boundaries but not burning bridges! LOVE it! AND the fact that you are involved in so many Zumbathons. :O) MY heart beats Zumba. I wish we had more zumbathons in my area. I love them…classes are keeping me content for now.
Going to have to try this method!
Though I've gotten better at saying no when I realized by saying yes to everyone else, I had to say no to my family- and I can't have that!
Love this method! Great advice!
So SO GOOD! I too used to be a YES person and then I learned that I can respect MY boundaries without feeling guilty. Now I have a way to keep in those boundaries guilt free. Thanks for the tip!